Live Your Abundant Life Too by Aya Fubara Eneli

Author:Aya Fubara Eneli [Eneli, Aya Fubara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780578433561
Publisher: Jai Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2018-12-17T08:00:00+00:00

Chapter Five

Conquering Depression

by Vannette P. Simmons

Conquering Depression

Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself.

Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.

Marva Collins

By the time I realized what was happening to me,

the process had already been set in motion. Why had I

woken up with tears in my eyes? Was I even awake?

As I became aware of the bed I was lying in and the

position of my body, I realized there was something in

my hands. My fists were clenched tightly around my

shirt. In my sleep, I had been crying and tearing at my

clothes. Maybe it was all a bad dream. Maybe I

dreamed that I got that call that would change our

lives life forever.

As I type this, recalling that day still causes me

quite a bit of anxiety. I was at work and I received a

cryptic call from my brother-in-law who seldom called

me. “Are you at home?” “How long will you be at

work?” He asked. “I probably will be another hour or

so, is everything ok,” I responded. “Yeah, just call me

when you get home,” he said. “Okay” I was not sure

what he had to tell me, but I could hear in his voice

that something had happened.

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105

Vannette P. Simmons

As I pulled into my driveway a few hours later he

called me again. “Hey, you have great timing, I just

pulled in,” I said. “What going on?” I asked. "Wayne

passed," I heard my brother-in-law say on the other

end of the line. "What?" I responded confused. "Passed

where, passed what?” Wayne, was the childhood

nickname of my estranged husband of 14 years.

Dwayne (Wayne) was a Captain in the United

States Army, and he had recently returned from his

third deployment overseas. At the time, I was living in

our home in Killeen, Texas, and he was stationed in a

different state. Every time he went on a deployment,

he came back just a little different. It was as if he left

parts of himself, the parts I knew and loved,

somewhere else, yet returned with strange parts which

did not agree with us. He physically looked like my

husband, but bit by bit his personality had morphed

into a different person.

Quite frankly, I became a different person as well.

Each time he went away, I was a single parent once

again for at least nine or more months at a time. I had

learned to navigate being a full-time student while

working a full-time job. I cared for our two very active

pre-teen children. I made sure they got to and excelled

in all of their academic and extra-curricular activities.

Our social lives were very involved with activities such

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106

Conquering Depression

as Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics, dance, piano lessons, and

whatever sport was in season. As a family, we also

stayed active in our church. Unfortunately, three

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